Next Door Zombies - Page 46


Fri, Aug 10:


I'm still kind of in shock. To say this was unexpected is... the biggest understatement.

At about 9 AM, the doorbell rang. I was expecting it to be someone wanting me to change my electrical provider. To my surprise it was Martin, the owner of the shop across the street. He wanted me to let him in.

I wasn't sure if I should. Werewolves are immune to the Zombie virus, but they still can potentially carry it. But I decided to risk it.

It was weird seeing him inside our house. He looked very serious. He said he wanted to talk to me alone, then changed his mind and told my kids to listen in also.

“You have to leave,” he said. “Gather up what you need. Just the essentials. Load up your van and get out of town.”

“Why? What’s going on?” I asked.

He took a deep breath and looked around. “The Werewolves have decided to torch the entire town.”


“I’m serious. Look, I’m in a lot of danger just talking to you. But I thought I should warn you. There was a meeting, and, uh, well... As soon as the sun sets tonight, the Werewolves are going to set everything on fire, and then head over the bridge to East Rucksack.”

“What? Why are they doing this?”

He took a deep breath and sighed, and then said, “Look, I’m OK with living alongside Humans, but some Werewolves want to set up Werewolf-only cities. No Humans or Zombies allowed. Now, uh, they’re not gonna kill any Humans. But not because they don’t want to, they just know that it’ll cause too much trouble if they do. There’s um... Look, I don’t agree with them, but there’s some Werewolves who believe that Werewolves should be running things. Setting up Werewolf-only towns is the first step, you know?”


“Yeah. Uh, like I said, officially, Humans aren’t gonna be targets. But the reality is, the entire town is gonna burn. There’s no way you’re gonna survive if you stay here.”


“Yeah. Um, look, I know that saying ‘sorry’ isn’t gonna do jack shit for you, but... Sorry about all this... OK, uh, I gotta go. Like I said, I shouldn’t even be over here.” He went to the door. “Remember: Sunset. But, uh, well, some of ‘em might get antsy and start early, so I’d leave a bit before then, you know?” He headed out the door, calling “Good luck,” just as it shut behind him.

Some of the kids looked like they were going to cry. I hoped that a good enough pep talk would avert that. “We can do this,” I announced. “We’ve had to uproot and move in a hurry before. We can do it again. We just have less time and less room. But we can do it. Think of the first time as a practice run. Now start gathering stuff up. Just the stuff you really need.”

Then I called Eliza. She decided to clean up everything that she could at work and then quit, so that we could pick her up tonight. Her boss will just have to hire someone else.

It would have been nice if he paid her. He owes her three checks.

I finished making the tent-tunnel from the front door to the van. We moved everything out.

We actually got done early. Embarrassingly early. We ended up having to kill time by sitting in the living room going through our belongings in minute detail, to see if there was anything else we really wanted.

Finally, it was time to leave. The sun was near the horizon, and Eliza said that she was close enough to being done at work that she should finish up in the time it took us to drive there.

As we were about to pull away from the porch, I noticed the bottle of lighter fluid, still under the front seat. I pulled it out and opened my door just enough to toss it into the front yard.

As we pulled away, Reggie said, “The Werewolves are going to think you’re giving them that to help them burn down the city.”

With a sigh, I said, “They’ll think whatever they think.”

Next stop, pick up Eliza from work, then swing by Janine's house to pick up her stuff and say good-bye to them. Then we head to Arizona.

And as for those agencies who wouldn't help us: We're just going to show up on their doorstep. What are they going to do about us then?

I don't know what'll happen next. If there's one thing I've learned from all this, it's that you never know what the future has in store.

Posted/Updated on March 2nd, 2019
Originally published on August 10th, 2018


There's really no message or statement or point to this. It's just an idea that popped into my head one day, so I started writing. This is actually a fairly accurate journal of my family's recent move to a new town. Nearly everything in this story actually happened in real life, I just added zombies.

There’s two ways of writing: Planning ahead, or seat-of-your-pants. This was definitely a seat-of-my-pants story. I started with no goal, in fact no idea at all of where I was going with it. There’s some false starts. You can see some suggestions near the beginning that it may turn into some sort of parable about race relations: The narrator talks about being in a “mixed” neighborhood, for example, or the fact that I insisted on spelling “Zombie” with a capital “Z”. But none of that ever went anywhere. There’s also the fact that we’re pretty deep into the story before I get into any details about what Zombies actually are or how their bodies work. That’s because before then I hadn’t worked it out yet.

Also, it ends rather suddenly. Sorry about that.

Oh, and one final word: "President Doof" isn't a parody of any American president in particular. He's a parody of American politicians in general.